Just when you start to get the confidence back, someone takes it back from you. Yeah that's my life story. It has happened to me so many times before, i can't even keep track anymore. It started out as a very nice day actually, i went to community clinic, my second visit to be precise, and i had a wonderful time there. This was mainly because i had a great Spr in clinic with me teaching me lots of stuff also. Since 3 of her patients DNAed, we had nearly 1 and half hours to kill.

She suggested that i present to her some cases that i might have encountered during my tenure in Paediatrics, and she really liked my style. It was good fun and just coming from a successful "survival mission" during OSLER teaching the day before with the infamous Dr. Perigi, i was gaining confidence tremendously.

" I could get used to this...maybe I'm starting to find my groove..."

Came back home from clinic, had lunch, slept for a bit. Then i went back to QMC for my oncall session, brimming with motivation and energy.

"Here I go..." I said.

Went there, clerked a patient, a surgical patient. Let me remind you that i'm doing a medical oncall session. Then the SHO showed up, form his facial expression and his mannerisms, i kinda suspected that something was going to go wrong. We went into an examination room and i started presenting to him. Half way thru, he snatched my notes away from me.......( shriek@!#&) Dejavu?

"Noooooooo!!!!!...No God, not agaiiiin" I screamed in horror but no one could here me.

" We, surgeons are very simple people....U shuld go straight to the point, and u shuld be able to remember things without reading the notes," He said.

"Its all coming back to me...Its all coming baaackk," I sang in my heard to the tune of celine dion's famous ballad.

Why did it happen again to me again? Is is just the surgeons? Do they have a different way of doing things? Hahahaha...

Well, I admit, I'm just being whiny(coz of it happening to me twice in a short span) but I do appreciate his comments and he did gave positive remarks bout my history. what doesn't kill you will make you stronger right? Learn from your mistakes kan? kan? I hope so. Why am i contradicting myself, half of my post sound like im pissed of with the guy for snatching my notes away halfway thru my presentation and now, total opposite. Im not making sense, Argh, its 12 am maybe that's why.

In a nutshell kids. It's all part of life. Sometimes its nice to hear good things bout you. But sometimes its better to just take in criticism and learn from...Amin... Pandaaaii Kamal, dah besaarrr pemikiran dierrr...alhamdulillah...Maka dengan itu saya akhiri post saya...Asalamualaikum....

Kamal
(Ahmad "bukan kemal" Azri)